Life Bytes

Control Your Anger Before It Controls You

Life is heavy if you are angry with many people around you. Excessive anger can lead to sudden bursts of emotion that momentarily defeats your rational thinking, not to mention your poise. It is no surprise that anger management is one of the most recommended crash course for people who aim to rehabilitate themselves.

In this regard, the lesson of the day that I want to share is something that can easily fly out of one’s mind when anger takes over:

Control your anger before it controls you.

It is very helpful to be angry and to express anger. After all, it is perfectly normal for humans to feel such emotion. Never getting angry is a not a hallmark of self-controlled personality but a sign of abnormality and hence not something to boast about. Self control is not self control if you have nothing to control in the first place.

It is the feeling and expression of anger that needs  moderation and control. At the height of the emotion, some people may shout while others are simply silent. Right at that moment, you should start to let your anger subside thinking that prolonging this emotion is never helpful and may lead to further harm. You may be able to accept, forgive or forget the thing made you angry but at least you have dissipated your burning emotion and have calmed yourself. Thus, right at the moment of anger or while expressing anger, make every effort to calm down and to let the feeling subside. It is a good advice to silently count down from 100 to 0 and let your feeling go down with your counting. (Of course, you can start with 50 down to 0 if you think it’s too long.)

Once calmed down, prepare yourself to confront the situation with an open mind. It is acceptance or forgiveness that finally completes the whole “anger cycle”. This part may not be easy but at least maintain your poise and calm until you are ready for it.

Add comment April 13th, 2008

Letting Go of Our Big Dreams

Frustration and its sister, depression, are common diseases that inflict many people today (especially teenagers). It is known to lead to suicide in Japan. It does not run in families or in nationalities, its not genetic. It happens to everyone, including me and you. This happens when you dream for something big and you prepared for something big but suddenly it seems that the universe conspires not to make it happen. This often befalls to people who dream big and aim big, if you know what I mean. These people are usually intelligent, achievers in their own fields and people with high self-esteem. So, if you experience frustration, the consolation is that you might be one of them.

All of you readers know how it feels to be frustrated. It is something that you and I avoid or bypass. While it is fine to be frustrated sometimes, it is not good anymore when it becomes chronic. Before that happens, every big dreamer should be prepared also for another: Be prepared to let go of your big dreams.

Are you frustrated because what you wanted did not happen or was not granted? Simply let go of that dream before frustration totally breaks you. It is the secret of happy and emotionally healthy achievers - they dream big but they willingly let go of that dream when it slips off their fate. This can be done simply by thinking that maybe the time is not yet right or that something bigger is prepared for you — something that was beyond what you aimed for. I have a lot of experiences to share on this but time does not allow me to. Maybe you can share your experience in your comments to this article — my first article for my Life Bytes blog. Welcome!

1 comment April 12th, 2008